There is a man who tweets under the name 'Shit my Dad says' . He is a 29yr old comedy writer who lives with his 74yr old Dad. He tweets some of the wonderfully crazy and sometimes (so don't go over there if you take offense easily!) very brutally truthful things that his mad dad says.
Now, my husband may (only) be nearly 40 but some times the things he come out with are of a similar pure madness and a certain Krafty Koala is of the opinion that I should write a book of his wonderful Michael-isms. Today he has excelled himself.
Our toilet has been leaking for a while; the water that goes into it has slowly been dripping but this last week or so it has got worse so I asked him to have a look at it. Most blue jobs seem to have become pink jobs in our house but I will not mend toilets!! I got home from work and asked if he had mended it;
'Yes, I've had a look,' he said.
'So have you mended it?' ask I, hopefully.....
'Well no but I know what the problem is.'
'So are you going to fix it?'
'No, the toilet is off centre, I've known that has been the problem all along'
Marvellous. That is like saying 'The roof is leaking because there is a giant hole in it but I don't need to fix it, as long as I know the problem!'
Later on this afternoon, I rang up British Gas. We have had no hot water for months because Scrooge won't sort it out and I have got fed up of it so I rang them to see if they would come and give us a quote. I retold the conversation with the woman to him;
'...because we are classed as an emergency call...'
'Why are we an emergency?' He shrieked.
'Because we have no hot water. In most cases in 2011, people would class this as an emergency'
'Well, I don't see the problem.'
Ahhhh someone pass the gin....or a sledge hammer.