Lots of friends are having babies and are pregnant at the moment and lots more are talking about it and while they talk about the traumas of babies; the feeding, the crying, the lack of sleep, I look back and miss those easier times.
The older J and L get, the more I feel the need for a manual on how to deal with my growing child and to work out what to do 'right' to produce a well balanced member of the community. Somehow it all felt ok to fudge it when they were babies. It didn't really matter if you didn't change their nappy every 2 hrs. No-one really knew and they aren't going to remember it but now they are 7 and 8, what I do now might see them in therapy in a few years or maybe rioting on the streets.
Tonight is one of those times where I sit pondering what is the right thing to do. J has just come home from his friends house where he had tea. His friend is a girl and they love playing together. As he sat telling me what they had been up to, he told me that he had kissed her, in the bedroom, on the lips. OK. Last night he discussed his views on having multiple wives, clearly he is moving on from there....
Having a daughter a year younger, I wonder what the mum would think. I asked him if his friend wanted him to kiss her? 'Well she seemed a bit shocked,' was the reply. When I told him that some people don't like to be kissed and while it is nice to kiss people we care about, it's important to think about how they feel, it was his turn to sound shocked; 'Really? Some people don't like a kiss? Wow!'
Bring back the sleepless nights and colic. All is forgiven!